"Walk the plank yer scurvy dog," yelled my six year old son from the end of the hallway. I had a sneaky feeling he was talking to me, but I wasn't going to humour him. "Or I'll scuttle yer longboat," he added. There was a definite noise of that plastic sword I'd given him for his birthday whacking the door of his room. "I wanna be a pirate for Halloween, okay mom?" And he shut his door again.
Halloween. Here it comes again. Are you ready? Each year I tell myself I'm going to be ready this year, and every year October takes me completely by surprize. I guess you know the feeling. But at least I know what kind of a costume to organise this year. I have my orders...
My first thought when faced with making a kid's pirate costume is to do it myself. Torn off jeans, a scraggly old t-shirt, a red bandana and that plastic sword. Maybe an eye-patch and some black boots. You could grab all that from a thrift shop for about five dollars. That would have been what we would have worn when we were kids. But not so much these days. You would have to have been dead these last few years not to have noticed the furore created by Jerry Bruckheimer in the way of pirates. Johnny Depp and those pirates of the Caribbean have so much to answer for. Not more cheapo Halloween kids pirate costumes for you! Oh no. Hand over yer gold, ye scallywags.
I have the added fun of having a four year old daughter who has been kidnapped by her pirate captain brother and totally converted to a life of crime and scullduggery. There was no such thing as a "Pirate Princess" in my day. I remember Captain Hook, Smee the first mate, a blood-thirsty lot of uglies and a parrot. The only girls involved were Tinkerbell - a fairy who hardly counts - and Wendy, a good girl, with her head screwed on properly and a decent respect for her parents. There were no 'wenches' - not in the kind of pirate stories I knew about when I was four! And certainly no Pirate Princesses! I suppose an Elizabeth Swann costume has to be dashed up now. Or a hot pink number with black skulls on the skirt. What do pirate princesses wear, anyway?
Thank me piratical stars for the internet, is all I can say. I'll be jumping online and handing over my gold to the best seller of online kids pirate costumes I can find. What harm can it do? The range is fantastic, they deliver to your door and best of all you can show the little buccaneers exactly what they're getting on screen first before you buy it. If I hear any cries of "But I don't like my costume," I swear I'll make them all walk the plank.
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